Completely Moronic Plot Twists TV And Movies Needs To Retire

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“Bald Mentor” Is The Deadliest Job In The Marvel Universe

“Wise mentor” is already an occupation with a high fatality rate in superhero movies, but if it’s a Marvel one and the character is bald? That’s a dead man/woman/alien walking right there. The first Iron Man movie had Ho Yinsen, a balding man with glasses who becomes an unlikely mentor to the protagonist, helps create his superheroic identity, and is murdered like two seconds after the hero’s debut.


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Then, the first Captain America movie had a totally different character called Dr. Erskine, a balding man with glasses who becomes an unlikely mentor to the protagonist, helps create his superheroic identity, and is murdered like two seconds after the hero’s debut.

They could have just made one character called Skinny Ho.Marvel StudiosThey could have just made one character called Skinny Ho.

Doctor Strange switched things up by making the doomed mentor a woman (Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One), but this deviation from the formula is balanced out by the fact that she’s completely bald.

But only because Tilda Swinton refused to wear a fake beard.Marvel StudiosBut only because Tilda Swinton refused to wear a fake beard.


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Also bald, also wise, and also dead is Zuri from Black Panther, the trusted royal adviser whose death justified the “kill” in Killmonger.

Based on his shocked expression, Forest Whitaker had never watched a Marvel movie before.Marvel StudiosBased on his shocked expression, Forest Whitaker had never watched a Marvel movie before.

Captain Marvel‘s Dr. Wendy Lawson wasn’t bald, a fact she bragged about right before her death (“How’s my hair?”). This might explain why the movie’s baddie ends up taking her form — the universe wasn’t pleased with her hirsute arrogance and punished her.


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Then we have Yondu from Guardians Of The Galaxy (bald except for the split Frisbee lodged on his skull), who always seemed like a pretty shit father figure for Star-Lord. Then Star-Lord learned to appreciate him, and of course he died right away.

Can't wait for the next movie to introduce his brother, Space Daryl.Marvel StudiosCan’t wait for the next movie to introduce his brother, Space Daryl.

On the TV side, we have Pop from Luke Cage, who tried to hide his advancing baldness by wearing a hat at all times, but the Grim Reaper wasn’t fooled.

If we were Luke, we'd start thinking about hair plugs.Marvel TelevisionIf we were Luke, we’d start thinking about hair plugs.

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